Everyone has someone in their life in which they owe gratitude and I am no different.
First and foremost, I'd like to thank God. The reason for this should be self-explanatory, but in case it isn't, let's just say I owe God a lot. He has given me life and life more abundantly at that, even though I don't deserve it.
Next, and this was tough, I'm going with H. It was a close race between him and my Mommy, and while she gave birth to me, I figure since I'm kind of a pain in the ass and H is footin' the bill on the whole food and shelter thing now, he wins. Plus, I'm sleeping with him. So, H, thanks for all you do. For getting your ass out of bed every fucking day to provide a roof over my head and food in my tummy. For supporting me in everything and not bitching about what a pig sty the house is as often as you justifiably could. For understanding me and loving me despite all my inequities. For being My Lobster. You rock hard and I heart you.
Now for my Mommy. She probably won't ever see this because computers scare the bejeezus out of her, but she gave birth to me, brought me chocolate when I was PMSing, and is still the one I turn to when I'm sick, so for that and so much more, thanks Mom. I owe you. And if I ever make enough money, I swear your room in the old folks home will have an actual view and not just a Sandals Resort poster.
You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't pick your friends' noses. As sick as it is, I have friends who have done exactly that for me and that I've done the same for. I'll mention a few (or five), without whom, in all honesty, my life wouldn't be nearly as rich and entertaining. I mean these are the chicks I would bury a dead hooker for.
1) The Voice of Reason. We'll call her VoR for short. She's fucking amazing. If you're ever out on a ledge, she's the chick to call. But be warned, she speaks in pop-culture references and inside jokes so you might wanna study up before you pick up the phone. Oh, she also HATES stupid drivers so if you're one of those, don't bother...
2) Bush. Bush is like Jell-o. There's always room for Jell-o. One of the most selfless people I have ever had the good fortune to know. Plus she's a fuckin' kick in the pants drunk or sober.
3) Toast. Ahh, my partner in crime. My comrade in arms. And hey, when a friend gives you a guy for your birthday, she deserves some public thanks.
4) The Dr. The appellation isn't bullshit. This chick has got to be the most d-r-i-v-e-n person I know. We gave birth to our oldest children two days apart and I'm honored to be her youngest's Godmother as she is Godmother to my youngest. She's also partly why Tupperware & Pampered Chef stuff falls on H's head when he opens cupboards in the kitchen.
5) The Bad Influence or TBI for short. I've known her since 5th grade...it's all her fault.
And last but nowhere close to least, my Minions. You three keep me striving to be the best I can be and encourage me daily. I might have given you life, but you give me reason to live. You are my joy.
